why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
