yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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