I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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