i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We are two peas in an std pod
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
