Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
