So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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