Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
