im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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