I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
