i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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