Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
