pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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