Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
