I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
