Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Semen is not good for contacts.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
