Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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