anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
