Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
