Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
