Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
