dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
