and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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