Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
