This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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