The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
