we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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