when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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