So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
