he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
