You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
