you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
