At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
