do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
