I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
