Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
