Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize