she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
