he thought i was a dude.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
please don't ironically join a cult
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