I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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