You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
