So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
