I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
