would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
