Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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