Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
