What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
