Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
