I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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