Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
