A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dick very happy bro
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
