can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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